Podcasts - coming soon

That's right, "The Show" with Seth, Whitney, Adam and Dan is officially back on the air. Well, almost. We've recorded an actual show using microphones and everything, but we're waiting to post it here until we have two or three episodes for your downloading pleasure. Stay tuned.

And yes, that's Adam's head photoshopped (badly) onto Chris's body.

Sweet merciful raptor jesus

Well, this blog has fallen off the face of the Earth, and for that I apologize. Let me attempt to make it up to you with some Raptor Jesus content.







Click here for an Urban Dictionary definition of Raptor Jesus.

The Show 200th Post Special!

Wow, believe it or not, the words you are reading at this very moment comprise the 200th post on our humble comedy radio internet show thingy!

Time for a State of The Show Address: We're kicking [censored] ass! Yeahhhhhh! The pennies are literally rolling in from Google AdSense, and our readership has ballooned into the tens, possibly even the teens.

And I've got something super-rad saved up for this 200th post: stripcreator!

If you thought the create a super hero link was awesome, this one seriously makes it look like dogshit. This website makes it ridiculously easy to create your own cartoons. Like this (click strip and maximize window for readable version):



or this:



So, give it your best effort, and send the funniest and/or most offensive cartoons to show radio at yahoo dot com and I will post all good entries on the site. Winner will receive a photocopy of the naked photo of Bea Arthur that the winner of the blog-naming contest will win.

The Rude Awakening of Optimus Prime (and The Show)

If only I had a nickel for every day I didn't post on this blog, I'd have like ten dollars by now. Sorry about the lack of content for the past couple weeks. Most of us at The Show, as usual, have an excuse.

Dan's excuse: Trying to sell house, finish up stuff at work and prepare for year-long travel.

Adam's excuse: Same thing, except he's moving to China.

Whitney's excuse: Studying, doctoring, sneaking into Red Sox games.

Seth's excuse: Too busy out drinking with Dan. I mean... studying.

Anyway, let's focus on the positive: New content today! Check out this youtube video, The Rude Awakening of Optimus Prime. The audio is probably not safe for work, so make sure to plug in those headphones.

Oh, here's the other thing I've been busy doing: Trying to name my new blog. Relax, loyal The Show fans, I will still post here. But Liz and I will also be running a travel blog from abroad. Email your suggestions to showradio at yahoo dot com and the winning entry will receive a naked photo of Bea Arthur.

Speaking of dog torture....

Boy, the Vicks sure turned out to be a family full of douchebags, didn't they? Who would have thunk it a few years ago, when Mike was the hottest thing in the NFL and Marcus was an up-and-coming prospect at Virginia Tech. Since then:

- Marcus stomped on a fallen opponent's leg.

- Marcus racked up 9 driving violations.

- Marcus had sex with a 15-year-old girl.

- Mike tried to smuggle pot through the airport in a water bottle with a 'concealed compartment'.

- Mike flipped the hometown fans the bird.

and now most disturbingly....

- Mike allegedly organized and operated a dogfighting ring out of one of his properties and was involved in the torture and execution of several dogs by electrocution, beating, hanging and drowning.

Wow. Mike, if you're reading this, and you're guilty, kindly die in a grease fire.

I think I can say, without hyperbole, that this makes the Vick family one million times worse than the Manson Family and Bin Laden put together.

'08

Senator John McCain's presidential campaign is DOA. Mitt Romney tortures dogs. Newt Gingrich and Rudy Giuliani are a serial adulterers. And now firefighters, police officers, and their families are speaking out about Giuliani's phony persona as 9/11 hero.

2008 is shaping up real nice.

Bud Light and clam juice: Together at last!

Well, it would appear that the ad wizards at Budweiser finally got my memo. You know, the one that reads, "OMG BEER PLUS CLAMS = YUMMERS!!! GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO"

All joking aside, this actually doesn't sound half bad. Sort of a poor man's Bloody Mary. Add a little pepper, some salt, maybe a drop of tabasco or a dollop of tequila? I will definitely give this a try soon and report back.

In related news, here are the top 10 rejected beverage combinations from the makers of Chelada:

10. "Prilk" - Prune juice and whole milk
9. "Iraqi Car Bomb" - Dr. Pepper, Bacardi 151 and Camel Juice
8. "Crab Khalosh" - Mostly celery water with Essence of Crab
7. "Poop in a can" - Pretty much what it sounds like.
6. "Flaming Heart Attack" - Bacon grease, melted butter and Everclear
5. "Bloody Mary Extreme Edition" - Salt, Pepper, Vodka, Menstrual Blood
4. "Whitney's Delight" - Human placenta and rancid Egg Nog
3. "Sassy Jack" - Sasparilla and Urine
2. "Chowder-Ade" - Clam Chowder and Grape PowerAde
1. "Beefamato" - Oh wait, they actually made this one:

Real Countries that I Have Never Even Heard Of

Benin
Comoros
Gabon

Countries that I thought were the same:
Australia
Austria

Brunei
Burundi

Congo (Brazzaville)
Congo (Kinshasa)

Dominica
Dominican Republic

Guinea
Guinea-Bissau
Equatorial Guinea
Guyana
Ghana

Iceland
Ireland

Iran
Iraq

Kazakhstan
Kyrgyzstan

Liberia
Libya

Liechtenstein
Luxembourg

Mauritania
Mauritius

Niger
Nigeria

Saint Kitts and Nevis
Saint Lucia
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Slovakia
Slovenia

Swaziland
Switzerland

Togo
Tonga

D-Day in P-Town

Yep, the NBA Draft is finally upon us. And with Portland luckboxing its way into the first pick, it's the first one I've cared about in years. But the question remains: Do you draft Greg Oden or Kevin Durant with the first pick? Let's take a look at the pros and cons of each player.

Durant pros:

- Best player in college last year. Well, duh.
- 7'5" wingspan (at 6'10"). That's just freakish.
- Probably the next Michael Jordan.

Durant cons:

- Can't bench press 185 pounds.
- Seems a little uneasy with the media.

Oden pros:

- Played with one hand all year, still crushed people's faces.
- He is the current father of humanity.

Oden cons:

- Too nice?

My expert conclusion? The choice is too difficult. Flip a coin, disregard the first result, decide you're doing best of 5, then best of 7, then best of 119. Trade entire team to Seattle for 2nd pick so you don't have to make a decision.

Good luck, Kevin Pritchard!

Goobye Blair, Hello...?

If Gordon Brown is half as funny as how much he looks like Mr. Bean, then we are in for some more hilarious geopolitical antics from those Limey Brits.

Got $98 Million to Blow?

Actually, "blow" is the wrong word. More like "invest," right? British artist Damien Hirst recently unveiled this work of pure genius, a fake skull encrusted with 8,601 diamonds.

Well, it's not entirely fake. The teeth are real, from an "18th-century European Male," and the skull itself was cast in platinum based on the same person's real skull.

Anyway, yadda yadda, the skull cost somewhere between $20 and $30 million dollars to build, and the artist is selling it for $98 million. Oh, and he financed it himself.

[censored]. I am in the wrong line of work.

O-State Ballaz featuring Mitch Canham

Well, the Oregon State (or O-State) Beavers (or "ballaz") just won the World Series of College Baseball. All of us at The Show are happy about it, but particular congratulations go to Seth, lifelong Beavers fan and Corvallis native.

HOWEVER, as a Ducks fan, it is my unfortunate duty to post this video of the O-State Ballaz. Sorry, Seth.

Dirty Fucking Hippies

I hate hippies.

Just a quickie: Tacoma drunk is officially the drunkest

I don't want to bump Adam's posts too far down the page, but I couldn't resist posting this: A Pierce County woman has just tied the record for the drunkest arrest ever, registering a staggering .50 blood-alcohol content TWO HOURS after she was taken into custody.

Even more impressive, the .50 figure was backed up by a blood test.

In any event, a reading of .50 is extremely rare, Gordon said, so rare that technicians are required to reanalyze a blood sample if they get a reading that high.

“It certainly would kill many people,” she said.

Way to put Tacoma back on the map, lady!

Literally, she does not know what "literally" means

Is it just me, or is the figurative use of "literally" on the rise across this great nation? People think it makes them literally sound smarter. But it don't, so don't do it.

Sarah Jessica Parker, better known for her big nose than her big brain, is the latest example. I don't usually read fashion blogs, but the egregious malapropism in the teaser caught my eye this morning:

“I have to be involved literally down to splitting the atoms,” says the actress about her clothing label, Bitten.

It drives me bonkers.

Literally, SJP is splitting atoms. Wait, is she making throw away fashion or an improvised nuclear device to sell to the North Koreans?

For those who don't know what I'm talking about, "literal" means describing something as it actually is, a reflection of the truth; "figurative" means using metaphor, imagery, or hyperbole in descriptions to evoke identifications through memories or associations.

The thing with figurative language is, you don't have to say figuratively to make the point, for example:

I have to be involved down to splitting the atoms

No one would think SJP is actually splitting atoms in her sweatshop garment factory. In fact, no one would ever believe that SJP even knows what "splitting atoms" means (apparently). Get it? SJP is not being "literal" because she is not actually splitting atoms. She is such a bad actress that I literally gouged my eyes out with a spork rather than sit through an episode of "Sex and the City." And that's the truth.